Hypnosis for Self-Confidence: dare, act, trust yourself
"I lack self-confidence."
It is one of the sentences we hear most often from our clients, and one of the vaguest, because it covers very different realities.
Someone who does not dare speak up in a meeting, someone else who feels useless all the time, a third person who cannot say no: these are not the same difficulties, and they are not worked on the same way.
So this page starts with the sorting, then explains how confidence is really built, and what hypnosis can change about it.
Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem, Shyness…
A few distinctions
Here are a few distinctions to help you find your way:
- Self-esteem is what I believe I am WORTH.
It is the overall judgement I pass on myself: "I am worth something" or "I am worth nothing". It runs deep, goes back a long way, is often built in childhood, and does not depend on the situation: you can be a brilliant surgeon and hate yourself. It is the root, and the subject of our Self-esteem page. - Self-confidence is what I believe I CAN DO. It concerns my abilities in a given area, and it is situational: you can be very confident at work and terrified on a dance floor. And, good news, it is built through experience.
That is the subject of this page. - Shyness and assertiveness are about RELATIONSHIPS. Daring to approach someone, daring to speak, setting a limit, saying no — our Shyness & assertiveness page.
- Public speaking, lastly, is a particular situation — the weight of a room full of eyes — that deserves its own preparation, our Public speaking page.
These are all linked:
Low esteem weakens confidence, and a lack of confidence feeds shyness.
But knowing where to start changes everything, and that is what we do together at the first consultation.
The situations people typically come with for Self-Confidence
Our clients do not necessarily arrive with these definitions in mind, but rather with typical situations where they would like to develop their confidence.
The most common are public speaking, with the pressure of a room full of eyes, an exam or a competitive academic selection, with doubts about one's abilities and trouble concentrating or fear of going blank, an artistic or sporting performance, with performance anxiety to manage, and a romantic relationship, daring to go on a date and possibly into intimacy…
Understanding Self-Confidence
How confidence is built (and why it collapses)
Confidence is not a character trait you are born with or without: it is the result of learning.
It is built through a simple cycle: I dare, I have the experience, I take from it the proof that I am capable, so I dare a little more.
That cycle breaks in three ways.
- Through avoidance. This is the central mechanism: you do not dare, so you do not have the experience, so you accumulate no proof, and the doubt stays intact. Worse: each avoidance brings relief in the moment and confirms to the brain that the situation really was dangerous. Confidence cannot be decreed from an armchair; it needs experiences, and avoidance removes them.
- Through a distorted reading filter. Many people actually accumulate successes but do not record them. A success? "I was lucky." A failure? "That proves I am useless." This filter lets failures through and blocks successes: whatever the results, the conclusion is always the same. It is the heart of impostor syndrome.
- Through founding experiences. A public humiliation, a cutting teacher, a parent impossible to satisfy, a dismissal, a break-up… These episodes install a conviction, "I am not capable", which goes on running decades later, even though the person has piled up a thousand proofs of the opposite.
Self-confidence is not arrogance, and not the absence of doubt
Two misunderstandings to clear up, because they hold a lot of people back.
First, having confidence in yourself does not mean never doubting again. Solid people doubt too, but they move forward with the doubt instead of stopping because of it. The aim is not permanent certainty, which does not exist, but the ability to act despite uncertainty.
Second, self-confidence has nothing to do with arrogance or with taking up all the space. Many quiet people refuse to work on their confidence for fear of "becoming insufferable". It is the opposite: arrogance is often a mask laid over insecurity, while real confidence is calm, has nothing to prove, and leaves room for others. You will not become someone else, you will stop holding yourself back.
Video transcript
Lack of self-confidence is a frequent reason for consultation in hypnotherapy, and indeed hypnosis is a great tool to help develop your self-confidence. There are two main areas where our clients say they lack confidence: - At the level of their own skills: when they have to adapt to new tasks or responsibilities, and they are afraid of not being up to the task - At the relational level: how to be at ease in unfamiliar environments, when for instance I don't have my bearings. For example, when meeting new people, whether personally or professionally. And then there are often some aggravating factors: - If your inner critic - your little negative voice about yourself - pollutes your life, or you have strong limiting beliefs, this further lowers your self-confidence.
- If you add the gaze of others, the pressure tends to increase. For example, if I have to speak in public and I am the object of general attention, I lose my means more easily, especially if I am or think I am being evaluated or judged. - And also, if you have low self-esteem. There will be different approaches possible with hypnosis to best help you address your issue. For example, visualization techniques can help you become familiar with new environments or new behaviours. A bit like in the movies, you see yourself doing new tasks in an easy way, and gradually, you get into your character. And that’s because our mind does not make the difference between imagination and reality. This thought repetition already wires your brain to the realization of what you want to achieve.
And of course, it also helps reduce stress and anxiety. If you have a negative self-talk that blocks you, it will be interesting to go and clarify the blocking points: which beliefs are limiting you, so you can undo them, if you wish. Sometimes an imaginary discussion with your inner critic will help you understand how this little inner voice came into your life, in order to better negotiate with it and help it transform into something more positive. Finally, if your self-esteem is fragile, positive suggestions related to ego-reinforcement can help you improve your relationship with yourself. Each case is different, and that’s why we try to understand your situation as precisely as possible, in order to open the right doors.
Then you, your body, your mind, do the work. Hypnosis is still often misunderstood or limited to entertainment or smoking cessation, but in fact it’s useful in many areas. So, if you want to increase your self-esteem, overcome limiting beliefs, boost your self-confidence... the team of hypnotherapists at Solutions Hypnose is there to accompany you. Either in person, near you, or by video, which also works very well. Make an appointment now to create the life you desire through hypnosis! See you soon.
Hypnotherapy is a complementary form of support and does not replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns about your health, please consult a physician first.
What Hypnosis offers for developing Self-Confidence
What hypnosis does, concretely
Let us say first what it does not do: it does not transform a personality and it does not manufacture assurance to order.
What it does is more accurate and more lasting: removing the brakes that stop confidence being built.
- Defusing the founding experiences. Revisited safely and at a distance, never relived, those scenes stop feeding the conviction of incapacity. It is often the most freeing piece of work: you do not change the past, you take away its power over the present.
- Repairing the filter. Teaching the brain to record successes again instead of putting them down to luck, and to treat a failure as an event rather than a verdict on yourself. That is the heart of the work on the inner impostor.
- Coming out of avoidance, gradually. In imagination first: you dare in session what you do not yet dare in life. Then in reality, in stages. Every successful experience becomes proof, and proof is the only material confidence is made of.
- Mentally rehearsing the situations that matter. An interview, a meeting, a date…: living the scene in imagination, calmly, until the body stops treating it as a danger.
- Installing anchors. A gesture, a breath, a posture that bring back the state of calm and solidity when it is needed, and can be called on at the right moment.
- Working on inner talk. That voice which comments and runs you down continuously is a mental habit, not a truth: it can be reworked, particularly through our Self-esteem page for the identity side of it.
For some subjects, see our dedicated pages
- What I believe I am worth, the judgement on my own person, is covered by our Self-esteem page.
- Speaking in front of a group, in a meeting, on stage — our Public speaking page.
- Daring to approach, saying no, setting limits — our Shyness & assertiveness page.
- Succeeding at an exam, an interview, a competition — Performance anxiety.
- Career, promotion, salary negotiation: see Professional coaching.
Where our support stops
A lack of confidence is an ordinary difficulty, and not a matter for care.
But see a doctor or a psychologist if the distress is significant and lasting, if avoidance has become so massive that it shrinks your life (turning down jobs, relationships, going out) or if the lack of confidence comes with a collapsed mood. These situations are looked after very effectively, and our work can come afterwards, alongside.
What our clients say
« As I move forward through my sessions with Sandra, I see the changes happening. I'm going through a positive metamorphosis!! I'm more aware of things that used to slow me down in my life, and above all I can now take action calmly and with determination! Thank you for everything Sandra :)) »
Nes, client of Sandra Djina Ravalia
« A message for Ms. Nuria Perez de León. Leaving your office, I had this happy realization: 'I was born to be great,' and I repeat it to myself as often as it comes to mind... It fits so beautifully with self-confidence. Thank you! »
Thérèse, client of Nuria Perez de Leon
« Hello, this is my first hypnosis experience. I'm consulting Sandra Djina Ravalia. I've had two hypnosis sessions so far and I've started to notice changes in my inner dialogue around my fears and limits. I've been able to observe the beginning of a shift in some of my limiting beliefs: my confidence, my abilities, and a certain lightness/simplicity in some parts of my life. I'm pleasantly surprised by these observations and very excited about the potential for future changes. Sandra built a climate of trust from our very first meetings. I'm very satisfied with the support I'm getting from Sandra. Thank you Sandra! »
Hélène, client of Sandra Djina Ravalia
« From my very first session, I felt heard, respected, and safe. Her professionalism, gentleness, and compassion allowed me to have a deep, soothing experience. Along the way, I became aware of important things in my life. Each session helps me understand myself better, regain confidence, and move at my own pace. I found a part of myself I had lost long ago, and with every session I feel a little closer to who I really am. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your listening, your humanity, and your support. I'm deeply grateful to have met you. Your presence, gentleness, and non-judgmental way of guiding make all the difference. I recommend you 100%. ❤️🌿 »
Caroline
More on some self-confidence-related subjects
Find Hypnosis for Self-Confidence near you
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Annie Mayrand
Gatineau - Cumberland (ON)
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Christian Rocher
Beloeil
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David Veilleux
Montréal - Anjou
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Florence Aton
Sutton
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Sherbrooke
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Julie Rocque
Montréal - Jean-Talon
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Nuria Pérez de León
Montréal - Rosemont - Saint-Lambert
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Réjeanne LeBlanc
La Prairie
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Frequently asked questions about Hypnosis for Self-Confidence
Yes.
Precisely because confidence is not something you are born with but something you learn: it is built through experience, and experience remains possible at any age.
What blocks it is almost never age, it is accumulated avoidance and a filter that no longer records successes. Those are the two mechanisms the work in therapeutic hypnosis targets.
Self-confidence concerns what I believe I can DO: it is situational and is built through experience.
Self-esteem concerns what I believe I am WORTH: it runs deeper, goes back further, and does not depend on the situation, which is why there are objectively brilliant people who hate themselves.
The first meeting identifies which one is at play for you, so the work can be aimed better.
Four to eight, generally.
Confidence tied to a specific situation (an interview, starting a new job) is worked on faster than a long-standing difficulty backed by founding experiences or fragile esteem.
Your practitioner will give you a rough idea at the first meeting, and self-sufficiency remains the aim: you decide when to come.
No, and it is a frequent worry among quiet people, who dread "becoming insufferable".
The work does not change your personality: it removes the brakes.
You will stay just as reserved if that is your nature, but you will stop stopping yourself: speaking up when you have something to say, applying when the job interests you, refusing when the answer is no.
It is extremely common, particularly among competent people.
And it is a filter problem, not a competence problem: successes are put down to luck or chance, failures to oneself.
As a result, no success ever feeds confidence. The work in therapeutic hypnosis repairs exactly that filter, and it is one of the areas where effects show up fastest.
Yes, on the situational side: anchoring calm, mentally rehearsing the interview in realistic conditions, defusing the anticipation.
Two or three sessions are often enough for a specific event.
Deeper work on general confidence takes longer, but one does not rule out the other, quite the contrary.
Not necessarily, and often it is the other way round that works: acting and accumulating successful experiences ends up feeding esteem. So we generally start with whatever is concretely blocking you today.
But if the judgement on yourself is very harsh and long-standing, going at the root is more effective. Hence the importance of understanding your situation properly from the start.
It can wobble: a striking failure, a difficult stretch, a change of context are enough to shake anyone.
The difference after this kind of support is that you have the tools (self-hypnosis, anchors, a different reading of failure) and you know how confidence is rebuilt.
You do not fall back to square one: you know what to do.
Going further
- Self-esteem: the root, what I believe I am worth.
- Shyness & assertiveness: daring to approach, daring to say no.
- Public speaking: the situation of a room full of eyes.
Hypnotherapy is complementary well-being support: it replaces neither advice, nor treatment, nor medical or psychological follow-up, and guarantees no result. In case of significant and lasting distress or a collapsed mood, see a psychologist or a doctor.
Page written by Rachelle Letarte
hypnotherapist and family coach
partner at Solutions Hypnose.
English version reviewed by David Veilleux