Hypnosis for Fertility

You know your cycle length by heart, the window, the date of the test. You know at what point in the day you will run out of patience and do it anyway. And you know exactly what you feel when you see the result, because you have felt it before.

Around you, life carries on as though nothing were happening. Pregnancy announcements arrive out of nowhere, in a group, at a family meal, and you have to have the right face on immediately. People ask whether it is for soon. They advise you to think about something else, to go on holiday, to relax.

At home, what used to be intimacy has become a calendar. And there is the other person opposite you, no longer knowing what to say and saying nothing, which you sometimes take for indifference.

One thing deserves to be said straight away, because it comes up in almost every consultation: it is not your mind that is stopping your body. We devote a whole section to it further down.

A thoughtful woman holding a pen, her gaze turned to one side

Read this first. Hypnosis does not improve your chances of conceiving. No data supports that claim, and we will not make it. What an accompaniment can aim at is the way you go through this period: the waiting, the tests, the disorganised intimacy, the couple, and the emotions of a road that is often long. The first step, for both partners, is a medical assessment. A delay without pregnancy needs looking into, and the sooner it is, the more options stay open. Hypnosis replaces no stage of that journey and must never delay one. Already in treatment? If you are undergoing stimulation, insemination or in vitro fertilisation, the page for you is Hypnosis during Fertility Treatment.

What is Infertility?

Infertility is when a pregnancy does not occur after a prolonged period of regular intercourse without contraception. The usual marker is around a year, but it shortens with age and history: past thirty-five, or where there is a gynaecological or andrological history, it is better to consult without waiting out that delay.

Infertility is not sterility. The vast majority of situations are a difficulty in conceiving, not an impossibility.

It concerns both partners. Among couples engaged in assisted reproduction, the causes are as often male in origin as female, and very often present in both. An assessment covering only the woman is an incomplete assessment.

Unexplained infertility describes a situation in which the assessment found no cause. Unexplained does not mean psychological: it means the available tests did not identify the mechanism at work. It is a decisive distinction, and it is regularly misunderstood, including by those around you.

Some factors genuinely do act, and they are neither mysterious nor unconscious: age, smoking in both partners, alcohol, a weight far from the usual range, certain occupational exposures, and the conditions identified during the assessment.

Where assisted reproduction begins

Medically assisted reproduction brings together ovulation stimulation, artificial insemination, in vitro fertilisation and the use of donation. It is a regulated medical pathway, with its stages and its waiting times, and it is open in France as in Quebec to couples formed of a man and a woman, to female couples and to single women.

If you are engaged in it, or about to be, the dedicated page is Hypnosis during Fertility Treatment (IVF, Insemination). It covers what this page does not: the injections, the retrievals, the wait after a transfer, and what to do with a negative cycle. And if a pregnancy comes, what follows is prepared on Hypnosis for Birth Preparation.

Consult without waiting out the usual delay in case of advanced age, absent or very irregular cycles, a history of pelvic surgery, known or suspected endometriosis, disabling period pain, a history of repeated miscarriage, or a known abnormality on a semen analysis. These deserve to be assessed by a doctor, and the assessment concerns both partners. Every decision about your treatment belongs exclusively to the medical team looking after you. If any practitioner offers you a product, a supplement or a diet meant to improve your chances, talk to your doctor first.

The impact of waiting for a pregnancy on daily life

A pregnancy test held in one hand above a pink knitted blanket

This period has a feature that few other ordeals share: it starts again. Every cycle reopens hope, every cycle can close it, and it can go on for years. It is that repetition, more than any single disappointment, that wears you down. Time itself changes nature: life is planned in fortnights, and projects, holidays, sometimes career decisions are settled according to a calendar that does not depend on you. You end up committing to nothing more than two weeks ahead, which shrinks life well beyond the subject itself.

Intimacy turns into an obligation. It is one of the most consistent and least mentioned effects, and it appears well before any medical protocol. What belonged to desire becomes a dated performance, and pleasure withdraws from a place where it was at home. Our page on hypnosis for female sexuality covers that side.

The couple is tested by different emotional rhythms. The one who is not at the centre of the tests often feels useless, stays quiet so as not to add weight, and that silence is received as distance.

Your relationship to other people gets complicated. The pregnancies around you, the birth cards, the well-meant questions, and the double blow of being sincerely happy for someone and devastated at the same time, then blaming yourself for it.

And the body becomes suspect. Many women describe a kind of resentment towards a body they see as having failed, even though nothing has been found.

The recognised approaches outside Hypnosis

The point of entry is your doctor or gynaecologist, for both partners. It is the only step that acts on the causes, and the only one that can say where you actually are.

  • Psychotherapy, particularly when this waiting reawakens a bereavement, a miscarriage or an older story.
  • Patient associations, whose main contribution is to break the isolation and to put words to what nobody else understands. They also welcome people who are not yet in medical treatment.
  • Couple support. Some practitioners in the network offer couple coaching centred on communication and on the shared parental project, useful when the two partners are not going through the same thing at the same pace. See also Hypnosis for Love Life and Relationships.
  • Stopping smoking, one of the rare non-medical levers whose effect on fertility is established, for both partners: Hypnosis to Quit Smoking.
  • A sex therapist, when intimacy has settled lastingly around the calendar.
  • And if you enter medical treatment, the psychologist at the fertility clinic, whose consultation is built into the journey and largely under-used.

Hypnosis places itself alongside these approaches, on the side of emotional experience.

Video available in French

L'Hypnose pour FERTILITÉ
Video transcript

Est-ce que tu vis un processus de fertilité dans lequel tu rencontres des défis ? Ou bien peut-être est-ce que tu commences à avoir un projet de conception d'un bébé et tu aimerais bien te préparer ? Ou encore tu es en plein dans ton processus de conception et tu aimerais en savoir plus ? Dans tous les cas cette vidéo est pour toi. Je t'explique comment l'hypnose peut t'accompagner dans ton processus de fertilité. Alors ce qu'il est bien important de comprendre, c'est que dans une première étape si tu rencontres tes défis dans ton processus de conception, de fertilité, il est important que la première étape, ce soit d'aller consulter ton médecin afin de vérifier le fonctionnement physiologique de ton corps et de ton appareil reproducteur.

L'hypnose elle, elle va pouvoir venir t'aider sur le fonctionnement psychique de ton processus de fertilité et elle va s'adresser à cette sphère là. Tu peux aussi venir consulter en hypnose dès le début de ton processus de fertilité pour vraiment te mettre à jour et te préparer au mieux pour l'arrivée ce projet de conception. Donc d'un point de vue psychique, qu'est-ce qu'on va venir observer dans un premier temps ? Quels sont les domaines de vie qu'on va venir adresser pour ensuite transformer ces domaines là en lien avec l'hypnose.

Afin d'aboutir au projet de conception ? Donc dans un premier temps, dans une anamnèse on viendrait observer la dimension transgénérationnelle : qu'est-ce que ta maman, ta grand-mère portent en lien avec la maternité : la conception la grossesse, l'accouchement, le processus de de maternité par la suite, qu'est-ce qu'elles ont vécu dans ces processus là et quel bagage toi peut-être tu as hérité à travers leur propre vécu.

Et donc on vient donner ensuite dans ce processus là qu'on a observé des ressources supplémentaires pour ta maman pour ta grand-mère si jamais les situations qu'elles ont vécues n'étaient pas des situations où elles avaient accès à toutes leurs ressources intérieures. On va venir aussi observer la dimension transgénérationnelle chez ton ou ta partenaire de conception. Ensuite on va venir observer, toi dans quelles conditions est-ce que tu as vécu la grossesse quand tu étais dans le ventre de ta maman ?

Qu'est-ce que ta maman vivait à ce moment-là et dont tu as pu hériter ? Quelles ont été les les condition de ta conception, du moment où tu as été accouchée, où tu es venue au monde ? Et puis c'est vraiment important aussi de notifier si tu as eu des traumas particuliers dans ta vie, de pouvoir les mentionner. Donc ça c'est une première dimension transgénérationnelle et personnelle en lien avec l'histoire que l'on porte sur la fertilité.

Dans un deuxième temps, on va venir observer aussi l'équilibre de nos polarités féminine et masculine. Donc pour définir un petit peu plus ce que sont ces polarités là, et je te parlerai de l'archétype féminin et de l'archétype masculin. C'est-à-dire que un archétype, qui était une dimension beaucoup utilisée par Jung, c'est un symbole qui a été utilisé pendant des années et des années, plusieurs siècles dans lesquels on a positionné des énergies particulières.

Par exemple l'archétype masculin porte des énergies de poser des limites, de mettre un cadre, une structure alors que la polarité féminine, l'archétype féminin est plutôt dans une dimension de réceptivité, d'écoute, de soin. Donc comment tu portes ces deux polarités là à l'intérieur de toi. Ce qui est important c'est que elles soient équilibrées. On porte chacun homme ou femme ces deux polarités intérieures et l'être équilibré que nous sommes se passe également à travers l'équilibre de ces polarités là à l'intérieur de nous.

Souvent dans notre société, ce qui a été beaucoup valorisé, c'est la force physique, la mise en œuvre dans l'action, dans le travail peut-être même aussi beaucoup la mentalisation, comment on réfléchit - les intellectuels qui sont adorés etc... Le fait de faire de plus en plus d'études, ce qui fait que notre mental est très actif, notre volonté de se mettre en action est très active et parfois, surtout en tant que femme, on a perdu notre connexion à ce qu'on porte dans notre aspect féminin qui est la réceptivité, l'intuition, la connexion, aussi tout le domaine émotionnel.

Parfois on peut même manquer d'écoute émotionnelle en lien avec nous dans une volonté de toujours aller de l'avant de toujours agir. Donc vraiment les femmes, il se peut - et et je le remarque souvent dans les accompagnements que que j'offre - que la polarité féminine a à être reconnectée. C'est des choses qu'on a toujours en nous mais qu'on n'a pas habitué à prendre place, qu'on n'a pas habitué être en lien avec. Donc il suffit juste de rebrancher le câble pour ces capacités de réceptivité là Et c'est vraiment intéressant parce qu'on va également venir observer ça dans le rapport à la sexualité puisque la sexualité est le lieu de procréation et le lieu de la création de la vie.

On va venir observer quelle est ta dimension, ta relation à la dimension sexuelle. Est-ce que tu es à l'aise dans ta sexualité. Dans la sexualité, il y a deux postures : il y a la posture émissive quand j'offre des caresses, j'offre des soins à l'autre. Il y a aussi la posture réceptive : comment je me laisse recevoir le soin et l'amour que l'autre me porte. Donc un petit peu dans la même idée que la polarité féminine qui est dans la réception, parfois il est nécessaire de venir réapprendre à recevoir dans la sexualité également.

Puis on pourrait on imaginer que les archétypes masculin et féminin à l'intérieur de nous sont des dimensions plutôt énergétique, invisible, imaginal, symbolique. Tout ça pour moi signifie la même chose et on va venir aussi observer comment ces dimensions là intérieures se concrétisent dans la matière. Donc on va venir observer comment fonctionne ta dimension avec le couple : qu'est-ce qui se joue dans le couple de ton ou ta partenaire avec toi-même et on va venir observer comment se rapportent ces deux polarités là.

Est-ce que toi en tant que femme, tu portes plus la polarité féminine ton conjoint la polarité masculine ou alors l'inverse, ou un mélange. On va venir observer ces dimensions là. On peut soit le travailler de façon autonome si c'est toi qui consultes puisque avec une approche systémique, on se rend compte que si toi tu modifies ton positionnement énergétique, psychique à l'intérieur, en lien avec tes capacités, ça influence déjà le positionnement énergétique de ton ou ta partenaire, le positionnement psychique de ton ou ta partenaire.

Donc en changeant tes comportements parce que ça se concrétise dans la matière, cette évolution intérieure, ça se concrétise par un changement de comportement, ça permet également à ton ou ta partenaire de changer de comportement. Et on peut aussi venir adresser cette dimension là en session de couple Donc j'accompagne aussi à travers la thérapie relationnelle imago qui est une incroyable approche qui permet de recréer la connexion entre les membres du couple et à partir de là de venir adresser les différents enjeux vécus.

Quand le cœur est ouvert, quand il y a de l'accueil - c'est ça recréer la connexion - c'est d'autant plus facile de venir adresser avec soin, bienveillance et compassion les différents enjeux que chacun vit dans dans le couple. Donc à travers un accompagnement en lien avec la fertilité, il peut y avoir une ou deux séances avec ton ou ta partenaire pour observer ces dimensions là et rééquilibrer au besoin. Et puis on va aussi venir regarder c'est quoi la dimension de fertilité que toi tu vis dans ta vie, donc à travers les loisirs, le travail, ta famille, ton couple, aussi ta spiritualité - est-ce que tu vis une connexion au sens, est-ce que pour toi ce que tu vis a du sens, est-ce que tu te mets en œuvre vers ce qui fait sens pour toi ?

Toutes ces dimensions de la spiritualité, ça peut aussi passer par une dimension, une connexion, une dimension plus grande. Parce que ce qui est vraiment important, c'est d'observer que pour porter la fertilité, pour être capable de créer la vie, il faut soi-même s'offrir ce processus de fertilité là et de créativité dans nos vies. Et le processus de créativité, c'est pas seulement le domaine artistique, la créativité c'est aussi : est-ce que par exemple quand tu cuisines, tu écoutes les intuitions que tu as sur les ingrédients à mettre en place et que tu cuisines à partir de ce processus créatif qui vient de toi, est-ce que quand tu es dans ton travail, tu écoutes tes intuitions, tu écoutes tes idées, tu les mets en œuvre ?

Ca aussi c'est de la créativité donc dans toutes les dimensions de notre vie, dans la dimension relationnelle avec notre amoureux, on peut aussi se permettre d'être créatif, même en se basant sur notre intuition, en recevant et en faisant confiance à cette dimension qui sait à l'intérieur de nous et qui nous permet de nous mettre en dialogue avec notre conjoint conjointe. Ca aussi c'est également de la créativité, c'est créer à partir de ce qu'on est et de nos intuitions et de ce qu'on perçoit.

Voilà pour les différentes dimensions de vie. Ce qui est important comprendre c'est que dans ce type d'accompagnement en tant qu'hypnothérapeute, on promet pas forcément le processus de création de la vie au bout de l'accompagnement thérapeutique. C'est quelque chose qui est en dehors de notre champ de compétence, tu t'en doutes bien. Par contre ce qu'on promet, c'est - ce que moi je promets en tout cas à travers mon accompagnement - c'est une mise au monde de toi qui viens consulter.

Comme si pouvoir se découvrir, découvrir les cadeaux qui se cachent derrière les défis du processus de fertilité pour se mettre au monde soi et à partir de là, pouvoir mettre au monde une vie, un bébé. Donc je me tiens à ta disposition pour t'accompagner. Tu peux également me contacter par téléphone - toutes mes informations sont en dessous - pour avoir plus de renseignements. Et au plaisir d'œuvrer ensemble dans le processus de création de la vie !

Hypnotherapy is a complementary form of support and does not replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any concerns about your health, please consult a physician first.

Hypnosis for Fertility: aims and benefits

Let us start with what hypnosis does not do, and this list is the most important part of the page.

It does not improve your chances of conceiving. It acts neither on ovulation, nor on the quality of eggs or sperm, nor on implantation. It lifts no unconscious block preventing you from being pregnant, because that block does not exist in the terms in which it is usually presented. It replaces no stage of the medical pathway and must never delay one.

What an accompaniment aims at

  • Getting through the cycle. Waiting for the test, the day your period arrives, and the few days afterwards when you have to start again. These are precise moments, and they can be prepared for.
  • Putting desire back where there is a calendar, and giving intimacy a place that is not entirely colonised by the project.
  • Supporting the couple in a period where each absorbs it differently and where the subject becomes hard to raise without it going wrong.
  • Accompanying the relationship to the body, often damaged by a sense of betrayal or failure.
  • Getting through other people's announcements, the family meals and the questions, without leaving all your energy there.
  • Approaching the assessment's tests more calmly, particularly where there is an apprehension about blood draws or gynaecological examinations.
  • And accompanying grief, where there has been a miscarriage. See Hypnosis for Grief and Sadness.

The more general anxiety that settles in during these periods is covered on Hypnosis for Stress and Anxiety.

No, your stress is not the cause

This is the sentence you have heard most, in its various forms: relax, think about something else, go on holiday, it will come when you stop thinking about it. Some sites, including the previous version of this page, offer a more learned version: unconscious fears or past experiences that would inhibit fertility.

The data do not support that idea. A meta-analysis of fourteen prospective studies covering 3,583 women, published in the *BMJ* in 2011 by the fertility research group at Cardiff University, asked the question directly: does emotional distress measured before the start of treatment predict achieving a pregnancy? The answer is no. Neither anxiety nor depression measured before treatment was associated with the outcome, and the authors explicitly conclude that women can be reassured on this point.

The link does exist, but in the other direction. Distress is overwhelmingly the consequence of infertility, not its cause. Confusing the two does a precise damage: it adds guilt to grief, it gives those around you a line to repeat, and it can divert from a medical assessment which does act on the real causes.

An honest nuance, because it exists: extreme and prolonged stress, particularly when it comes with significant food restriction or intensive physical exercise, can disturb cycles. That is a specific situation, medically identifiable, and it has nothing to do with being worried because you have been trying for two years.

*The same misconception exists in a "treatment" version: my stress is making my IVF fail. It is dismantled, with its own sources, on Hypnosis during Fertility Treatment.*

So why consult in hypnosis? Because distress deserves to be accompanied for its own sake. Not as a means of obtaining a pregnancy: as real suffering, in a long period, that does not have to be gone through alone.

What the research says

On the link between distress and outcome, the *BMJ* meta-analysis cited above finds no association between distress before treatment and achieving a pregnancy. A second meta-analysis, in 2018, over twenty studies and 4,308 women, reaches the same conclusion.

On hypnosis itself, we should be clear: nothing supports the claim that it improves the chances of pregnancy. A 2006 case-control study on hypnosis during embryo transfer is regularly cited by commercial sites as a demonstration; it is not one, and we explain why on the page Hypnosis during Fertility Treatment. The only randomised trial published in this field, in 2013, found no difference in pregnancy or birth rates. What is documented, on the other hand, is the use of hypnosis in supporting medical procedures and the discomfort they cause.

When the road stops

This is the part almost no site covers, and yet it is a frequent outcome. A project can stop because the medical options are exhausted, or because you decide to stop. That second decision is legitimate and it is hard, because it feels like giving up when it is often about taking your life back into your own hands.

What follows is a genuine bereavement: for a child who did not exist, for a projection, for a part of yourself. It is poorly recognised socially, which makes it lonelier. An accompaniment has every place at that moment, alongside a psychologist, and it certainly does not consist in turning that loss into a new chapter of life.

An example of accompaniment

*An illustrative example. The name is changed and the path described belongs only to the person who lived it.*

Two people sitting side by side on a rock, head against shoulder, facing the mountains

Élise had been trying to conceive for several years. The tests had identified no cause, which she experienced as an implicit accusation: if everything works, then she must be putting something in the way. She avoided the subject with her partner, took refuge in work, and told herself that if she were more relaxed it would already have happened. That was the state she arrived in at the first appointment, convinced she had something inside her to repair.

The first conversation mostly served to undo that idea. What we could accompany was not her fertility, it was the state in which she was going through this period. The work bore on the days following the arrival of her period, on an old miscarriage she had never spoken about, and on her capacity to raise the subject with her partner without it ending in an argument.

> "The most useful thing was being told that it was not my fault. For four years people have been gently suggesting the opposite." > Élise, name changed

She then resumed her medical follow-up, with a new assessment for both partners. We do not know what became of her project, and that is not what this accompaniment was measuring. Every situation is different, and Élise's path says nothing about what you will experience.

How a Hypnosis session on this subject unfolds

The conversation. Where you are, for how long, what care you are receiving and who is supporting you. What weighs most, and what you are hoping for from us. If you have not yet had an assessment, or if it covered only one of the two partners, we will point you to your doctor: that is where the causes are settled, and we will not take the place of that step.

The aim, framed together, and always about the experience, never about the outcome. For example: getting through the days after a negative test differently, finding an intimacy that is not dated, or being able to go to a christening.

The induction. A natural state of attention you already know without naming it. You stay conscious, you hear everything, you can speak and you can stop whenever you wish. The general shape of a session is described on the page what to expect in a hypnosis session.

The work. On this subject it most often bears on the waiting, on the relationship to the body, on the couple, on dreaded social situations, and sometimes on a grief that was never given room. We offer no visualisation of conception or pregnancy: what does not depend on you must not rest on your shoulders.

The return and the exercise. A conversation about what you experienced, and a self-hypnosis exercise to take away, often recorded so that you can listen to it again on your own.

The number of sessions is settled at the first conversation, and it takes account of the schedule of your medical care, which comes before ours.

Book an appointment

Two armchairs facing each other in a bright Solutions Hypnose consulting room

Sessions work in person as well as by video, and that detail matters particularly here, since medical appointments already take up a great many journeys and a great many half-days booked off. Video consultation asks for nothing more than a quiet room and a connection, and it makes one thing easier that matters in this particular subject: you do not have to sit in a waiting room among other people. We see people this way from Europe, North America, Africa and well beyond. Here is how it works.

In person, the practitioners who cover perinatal care and couple support in English see clients in Quebec, in Montreal, Laval and Sherbrooke. You can come alone or as a couple: the first conversation is there precisely to determine whether hypnosis is the right resource at this point in your journey.

A question before you decide? Write to us. If someone else seems better suited (your doctor, a psychologist, the psychologist at your clinic), we will tell you.

Where would you like to consult?

Bas-Saint-LaurentCapitale-NationaleAbitibi-TémiscamingueOutaouaisChaudière-AppalachesGaspésie–Îles-de-la-MadeleineCôte-NordLavalCentre-du-QuébecEstrieLanaudièreLaurentidesMontérégieMauricieNord-du-QuébecSaguenay–Lac-Saint-JeanMontréalOttawaFleuve Saint-Laurent

Frequently asked questions about Hypnosis for Fertility

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Sources and references

Definitions and markers

The legal framework

On stress and conception

  • Boivin, J., Griffiths, E., & Venetis, C. A. (2011). Emotional distress in infertile women and failure of assisted reproductive technologies: meta-analysis of prospective psychosocial studies. BMJ, 342, d223: 14 studies, 3,583 women. Full text
  • Nicoloro-SantaBarbara, J., Busso, C., Moyer, A., & Lobel, M. (2018). Just relax and you'll get pregnant? Social Science & Medicine, 213, 54-62: 20 studies, 4,308 women.

On complementary approaches

  • Catoire, P. et al. (2013). Hypnosis versus diazepam for embryo transfer: a randomized controlled study. American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 55(4), 378-386. The only randomised trial of hypnosis in assisted reproduction: no difference in pregnancy or birth rates.
  • Psychological and educational interventions for subfertile men and women. Cochrane review, 2016.

If you are going through a dark period. Quebec: Info-Social 811 option 2 · 1 866 APPELLE (277-3553). France: 3114, free and around the clock. And if you are in medical treatment, the psychologist at your clinic, whose consultation is part of the journey.

Hypnosis as practised by the members of Solutions Hypnose is a complementary support approach. It is neither a medical act, nor a diagnosis, nor psychotherapy in the regulatory sense, and it in no way replaces a consultation, follow-up or treatment prescribed by a health professional.

Our practitioners do not assess and do not treat mental disorders or illnesses. They never ask for an ongoing treatment to be stopped or changed: that decision rests exclusively with your doctor.

No result can be guaranteed. The testimonials and examples presented on this page describe individual experiences and do not predict what you will experience.

In case of significant distress, unexplained physical symptoms or suicidal thoughts, contact a doctor, emergency services or a helpline without delay.

Nassim Zafar

Page written by Nassim Zafar
hypnotherapist and NLP coach
partner at Solutions Hypnose.
English version reviewed by David Veilleux

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