Relationships, couples, intimacy: finding the right approach
Our relationships are what carries us best, and what costs us the most. A couple drifting apart, jealousy that poisons everything, a separation to go through, an intimacy that has faded, or simply the feeling of being alone: these situations do not share the same causes, and they are not worked on in the same way.
This page helps you identify what you are going through, then points you to the guide that covers it in detail. With one thing said upfront, because it shapes everything else: our support is individual.
Identify your situation
| What you are going through | Your page |
|---|---|
| Conflicts that keep coming back, a growing distance, jealousy that poisons things, an emotional dependency that exhausts you. | Love life & couples |
| A separation to decide on, to announce, or to go through — and the aftermath to rebuild. | Love life & couples · Grief & sadness |
| An intimacy that has faded, a sexual difficulty, a mismatch in desire within the couple. | Male sexuality · Female sexuality |
| You cannot say no, voice disagreement, or set a limit — in the couple or elsewhere. | Shyness & assertiveness |
| Disproportionate anger, words that go further than you meant. | Anger management |
| The feeling of being alone, a singleness that weighs on you, ties that have loosened. | See the "When loneliness weighs on you" section below |
Does more than one line sound like you? That is common — here is why.
What they share: relationships wake up what is dormant
These difficulties share the same root: a close relationship reactivates old mechanisms, often put in place long before it.
- Fear of being abandoned, which makes you cling on or leave before being left.
- The need to control, which reassures in the short term and suffocates in the long term.
- Difficulty saying no, which builds up years of silent frustration.
- Doubt about your own worth, which makes you accept the unacceptable or sabotage what is going well.
That is why the same patterns often repeat themselves from one relationship to another, with different partners. It is not bad luck: it is a mechanism — and a mechanism can be worked on.
It is also why the relational sphere so often touches the confidence one: many couple difficulties are, at root, difficulties with esteem or assertiveness (see Confidence & self-esteem).
Intimacy and sexuality: two dedicated pages
When the difficulty touches intimacy: low desire, a mismatch within the couple, a physical difficulty, apprehension… Dedicated pages take over. They set out the shared framework (a medical check-up first, always; a measured approach; confidentiality) and then guide you based on what applies to you.
- Male sexuality — erection difficulties of anxious origin, ejaculating too fast, performance stress, lowered desire.
- Female sexuality — lowered or absent desire, difficulty letting go, pain, post-partum, menopause.
When loneliness weighs on you
Not every relationship difficulty involves a couple. Singleness you did not choose, friendships that have drifted apart, the sense of having no one to call on a Sunday: these situations are common and rarely talked about, because we assume we should just accept them.
Support then focuses on what is holding you back: apprehension about reaching out to others (see Shyness & assertiveness), discouragement after disappointments, a self-image that has taken a hit (see Self-esteem), and sometimes an avoidance that set in without a conscious decision.
One honest clarification, though: we cannot create connections for you. What the work can do is remove what is stopping you from going out and finding them. And if the isolation comes with a mood that has collapsed and stays that way, a doctor is who to see first.
Go deeper on one specific issue
Some difficulties come up so often that we have written dedicated articles about them:
What Hypnosis Offers for Relational Life
What hypnosis brings, whichever door you come through
- Defusing old patterns.
Fear of abandonment, wariness inherited from a betrayal, the need to control everything: these reactions took hold for good reasons, often long ago. They can be defused — and the present stops being read through the past. - Calming the immediate reactions.
That moment when anger rises, when you say something you will regret, when you shut down. Working on that trigger changes a lot of conversations (see Anger management). - Finding the words.
Saying what matters without accusing, setting a limit without attacking, expressing a need without disguising it as a complaint. It is a skill, and it is learned. - Getting through what needs to be gotten through.
A separation, a betrayal, a relational loss: the work does not shorten the path, but it keeps you from getting stuck on it.
A line we do not cross
An important clarification
We support one person at a time, within a story that involves several.
Concretely: we do not offer couples therapy, sex therapy, or mediation. These are distinct practices, carried out by other professionals — and, in several regions including Quebec, governed by protected professional titles. If you are looking to come as a couple, those are the professionals to turn to, and we will tell you so plainly.
That said, do not rule it out too quickly: working on a relationship by yourself is often more effective than people expect. You will not change the other person — no one can — but you can change what you bring to the relationship: your reactions, your limits, the way you say things, what you tolerate and what you no longer tolerate. And a relationship is a system: when one person shifts, the balance shifts too.
When to see another professional first
See a doctor or a psychologist if:
- the distress is significant and lasting;
- your mood collapses after a breakup or during a period of conflict;
- isolation is setting in;
- a sexual difficulty persists…
A medical check-up comes first, without exception. And if you are looking for support as a couple, turn to a couples therapy professional or a sex therapist, depending on your situation.
Find a Hypnotherapist near you
All areas
Annie Mayrand
Gatineau - Cumberland (ON)
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Christian Rocher
Beloeil
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David Veilleux
Montréal - Anjou
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Florence Aton
Sutton
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Jessica Reid
Sherbrooke
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Julie Rocque
Montréal - Jean-Talon
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Nuria Pérez de León
Montréal - Rosemont - Saint-Lambert
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Réjeanne LeBlanc
La Prairie
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Frequently asked questions about hypnosis for better relationships
Yes, and that is even the format we mostly work in. You will not change the other person, but you can change what you bring: your reactions, your limits, the way you say things. A relationship is a system: when one person shifts, the balance shifts too.
Many of our clients arrive thinking they are coming "for lack of a better option" and discover that working on their own part was exactly what was needed.
No. We support one person at a time: no couples therapy, no sex therapy, no mediation. These are distinct practices, carried out by other professionals and, in several regions, governed by protected titles. If you would like to come as a couple, we will point you toward the right professionals.
That is often the real question, and it deserves to be asked without judging yourself. A useful marker: if the same pattern repeats itself from one relationship to another with different partners, something belongs to you — a fear, a need, a pattern — and that can be worked on.
If the difficulty appeared with this specific relationship and was not there before, it is the relationship that needs looking at. The first conversation exists precisely to sort that out.
No, and that would go against our role: we do not decide your life for you. What the work does is make things clearer for you: about what you want, what you can tolerate, what you are willing to do.
Some people leave more committed than before, others leave the relationship, others simply stop putting up with it. The decision remains yours, and it is made with a clear head.
Absolutely. Singleness that weighs on you, dates that go nowhere, fear of commitment or of being disappointed again: these are common reasons people come to us. The work then focuses on what is holding you back: apprehension about reaching out, discouragement, self-image.
We will not create connections for you, but we can remove what is stopping you from going out and finding them.
Not necessarily, and the reverse often works just as well. Many relationship difficulties are, at root, difficulties with esteem or assertiveness: in that case, that is where the root is.
But acting on a concrete situation — having a conversation you have been avoiding, setting a limit — also feeds confidence. We generally start with whatever weighs the most today.
Four to eight for most relationship topics. More when an old pattern is involved: fear of abandonment, a long-standing emotional dependency. A recent separation to work through, on the other hand, follows the pace of the situation rather than a fixed format.
The pages in this topic
- Love life & couples: conflict, distance, jealousy, emotional dependency, separation.
- Female sexuality: desire, pleasure, the body's transitions.
- Male sexuality: ejaculating too fast, performance stress, desire.
- Grief & sadness: going through a breakup, a loss, a relational grief.
- Shyness & assertiveness: daring to speak up, daring to refuse, daring to reach out.
Hypnotherapy is complementary well-being support: it is not a diagnosis or a treatment, and it does not replace advice or medical or psychological care. Our support is individual and does not constitute couples therapy, sex therapy, or mediation. In cases of coercive control or violence, please turn to specialized professionals and services.
Page written by Emmanuelle Sardou
hypnotherapist
partner at Solutions Hypnose.
English version reviewed by David Veilleux